Some day I will learn to reduce my self doubt and just embrace all the positives land in front of me. Sometimes I feel like I'm not proactive enough to keep my momentum in modeling and acting going so I amp up my networking, reach out to my connections, submit to casting calls that I feel are a long shot and the like. Because if you knock on enough doors, some of them are bound to open.

"If you knock on enough doors, some of them are bound to open"

So I submitted to a casting call that came into my email for Folds of Honor promo video. I fit the requirements and submitting is simple enough, just attach a photo to an email and send it into The Actor Factory. This was not the right time to be getting cast in anything, by the way. Mike was out of town for a long weekend mountain biking in Utah, and Danielle was going to be gone in Florida visiting her mom for a week. But, I like submitting because it keeps my face popping up and shows I'm eager & willing, right? I want to be a squeaky wheel because I love getting grease!

I had heard of Folds of Honor (if you remember from the Addys blog, my director of the Quest Nutrition commercial had worked on a video for them a few months ago and had mentioned it to me) so I knew they were a really good organization that helped people by providing scholarships to families of fallen soldiers. Starring in a promo video for them would do a lot of good on my resume. Not just by adding variety to my experiences but a very respectable organization to be associated with.

CASTING CALL:

Folds of Honor Promo Video

Breakdown of Roles

"Female- 5' - 5'7'' preferred. Any ethnicity. Any dance experience or theater experience is a plus. Graceful. it is not dancing but she needs to move in fluid way." - Freihofer Casting Bulletin

The casting call asked for a woman 5'7" or under, with graceful movements, dance experience a plus but not required. Legs covered in scars, I'm obviously not super graceful but I sure as hell can fake that! Anything for the camera! I submitted Friday even tho it was scheduled to shoot Tuesday and Wednesday the following week and Danielle was gone and Mike was flying home Monday at midnight. I thought, I won't get it-BUT if I DO then I'll make it work. Somehow. Sunday I got the email that I was chosen to audition Monday morning. So, there's my first little challenge. Leaving work so I can drive 30 minutes down to Norman for a 5 minute audition and then 30 minute drive back.

All this when I had told Danielle she could go on vacation without having to worry, the store is in good hands, you can count in me,I'm here for you. I'll even work extra hours to relieve her husband Web from having to sell women's clothes all week... of course she didn't even show a single shred of irritation. She is one hundred percent supportive and just always makes it work for me. Go and good luck she said, the store will be fine, she said.

I go to the audition Monday morning and greet the casting director, Chris Freihofer. I handed him one of my model business cards saying, "here I brought this for you" and when he looks at it he says, "Yeah, I have one of these". This is fantastic news! This means my business card made an impression, it did exactly what I wanted it to do. The reason this is so important is because last time I auditioned here, Chris wasn't in the room for my audition, only his assistants. So, I left my card with them. Hearing that he recognized it over a month later, after receiving it indirectly is a huge plus! So, I'm wearing blue running tights and a black tank. The video is to be shot in silhouette, so they want to be able to see your body and how you move. I love my blue Alala tights because I feel like they show my definition better than black tights. Just one major problem. The entire wall of the audition room is painted the same shade of blue. Chris, the casting director, looks into the video camera and chuckles. "I can't even see your legs " he says.

Ecommerce image of the blue Alala tights, shot by Shevaun Williams and used for the Liberte blog

I have a moment of panic- if they can't see my legs, then how can they judge my gracefulness? They won't be able to see my movements! I start thinking about the 4 girls I saw leaving the building just in the amount of time it took me to pull into the parking lot, get out of my car, and walk into the waiting room. A steady flow of women in black workout tights revolving through the audition room. Chris wasn't concerned, he said "it's fine." Of course he thinks its fine, there are plenty of options to choose from, he's not worried about my audition being a total dud. I wanted to suggest that I go change and come back in, but he begins to instruct me through the audition. Start at this mark and walk along the wall, then walk back, face the camera and walk in place, pretend I'm pointing something out to a five year old boy etc. I say, that's easy. I have a 5 year old boy and he responds with, "Really? You do?" I tell him that I have a 4 year old and a 5 year old. The conversation trails off and within minutes he's thanking me and shaking my hand as I ask when they'll be making their decision. He says, by 5pm, and I walk out the door and to my car. What a waste of time, I'm thinking. What an utter waste of time, I shake my head as I drive back to Liberte.

"What an utter waste of time."

That afternoon, I'm at the gym swimming laps and as the clock neared 5pm I felt a mixture of anxiety, disappointment and hope. Hope? Isn't that weird? I knew I wasn't going to get it. I had joked to Danielle earlier in a text that maybe because I was wearing blue, they had to look even closer at my audition tape to see me- which would actually make me stand out. And if there's anything you can do to stand out in an audition, you do it! I'm swimming laps and the clock goes past 5pm and I don't want to check my phone because I don't want to drive myself crazy so I think, swim harder and then you can get out at 5:30 to check. So I do, I swim harder, without breaks, I swim right up to 535 pm just to prove I'm not desperate and I get out to look at my cell phone and there's a text from an unknown phone number

"Hi Connie, this is Chris Freihofer, if the shoot was moved to Wednesday and Thursday would you still be available?"

"YES" I replied. "I"m available!"

I am so not available. Yet.

I am now texting Danielle and Web and Mike and my babysitter because now I'm going to be gone for two days this week. We've got to make this work, because at this point I'm really excited! But wait, he didn't say I got the part... he just asked if I were available for the new times. The rest of the evening was frustrating as I'm left hanging with no resolution.

In the morning, Tuesday morning, I wake up with an email on my phone that says Congratulations! .... I've been cast in the video for Folds Of Honor. This is amazing news! I now have just this day to make arrangements for the week. It's going to be FINE.

Call times are 8am both Wednesday and Thursday and they plan to shoot till 5 or 6 both days. So, the producer says in his email that if I'd prefer to stay in Tulsa Wednesday night, they'd provide a hotel room. That sounds pretty great actually since I really really hate driving. Anywhere. Ever. Especially back and forth to places. So I accept that offer after getting Mike's thoughts and he thinks I could use the break. What makes this more stressful is that when I leave on Wednesday morning and head to Tulsa I don't want to forget anything because I'm not coming back home, so I don't have a chance to remember something and bring it the next day. So I pack pretty heavily- almost every black piece of clothing I have goes into my car as I fill up the clothing rack hanging across my back seat.

I'm excited- looking forward to the project and still not really getting the full impact of it all yet. Because, when we start rehearsals the next day- its more amazing than I'd expected.

On my way to Tulsa #butfirstletmetakeaselfie

The studio where I spend the next two days making beautiful footage!

I hate to do this to you, but this is where the blog ends for now. When the video is released I'll be able to share the rest of my thoughts and experiences but I don't want to ruin the experience of watching the video.

As for the title of this blog- I couldn't help but call it this because it's a joke my brother often says. I couldn't avoid using it, so I might as well use it on the prologue !

You know what they say about HONOR.

You know what they say about Honor.